In my defense, I was 14, not exactly marrying age. But, as y’all all know, teenagers don’t exaggerate. Neither do 40 year olds. So, there you go.

Here’s a true(ish), but mainly true story: I almost married Joey Lawrence.  I know what you’re thinking.  Oh, my gosh!  What happened?  Were you jilted?  Then you thought again, no way she was jilted!  He must have been jilted!  Well, not exactly.  Let me explain.  Pour a cup of coffee or glass of wine and sit down.  I just did…you decide what I poured.

So, when I was about to turn fifteen, my parents took my sister and me to New York City for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and to spend Thanksgiving in NYC.  We ate at Tavern on the Green for Thanksgiving and we ate at the Rainbow Room that night…it was amazing.  Anyway,  so we’re all there and were headed to the parade and it was one of the coldest Thanksgivings EVER.  At the parade, as Joey (I can call him that.) is about to pass by, my mom fainted.  Yep.  This happened.  So, we left, obviously.  We think her blood sugar got too low…note to self, bring a power bar!  Needless to say, I was DEVASTATED! That night, on our way to the Rainbow Room, we saw that The Tonight Show, which is always filmed in L.A., was filming in NYC.  What does that matter?  Obviously…JOEY LAWRENCE was going to do a guest appearance in a skit.  OHMG, I had to go see him.  Well, the “bouncer” said I had to be sixteen to go in.  I wasn’t.  I was crestfallen, and he noticed it.  In his awesomeness, he let us (my dad and me) in!  WHAT?!?!?!  Yep, there was a catch, though.  We had to go backstage and up some stairs to watch from the rafters.  Not a problem.  So, who do we run into backstage?  Joey, no…hang on, I’m getting there.  We ran into Jay Leno.  Starstruck.  Side note, you have to know my dad…He looked at Jay Leno, shook his hand, and said, “Jay, Bill Latham.” Here’s the deal. My dad owns every situation. Jay Leno (I didn’t almost marry him, so I’m more formal), looked at my dad like he should know him and just shook his hand. It was great to watch. So, we get to our seats, watch the opening monologue, and there he is….Joey.  For those of you familiar with Joey Lawrence (If you’re not, just stop and Google and thank me later!), this was during his Blossom days.  You remember, the hair.  So, I was on cloud nine after seeing him.  We left right after that.  How did you almost marry him, you ask?  I’m so not finished.  As we were waiting for the elevator, when it came, Joey walked out.  Dear heavens, we were face-to-face.  He said hello, but then walked away.  My mouth was frozen and I couldn’t yell for him.  But, my knight in shining armor (my dad, obviously) called out to him.  Literally, he yelled, “JOEY!”  I was half mortified and half ecstatic!  He turned around…I forgot to mention that he was with his bodyguard.  They both turned around and came to us.  My dad said that I wanted to see him all day and would he please sign his autograph for me.  OMG starry eyed.  He looked into my eyes and smiled at me.  I pulled out my playbill from going to see the Rockettes, and he signed it.  Do I still have it?  What do you think?!  So, that’s how I almost married Joey Lawrence.  Interpret it as you will.